Facebook has taken over our social lives! I repeat and rephrase, it’s taken much of our social lives. Here are cool and amazing Facebook quotes that will ultimately make your profile a lot better. It will also up your status game by the mile! Social media is now part of peoples’ lives not only on a personal level but also on the business side of things. It’s a good channel to communicate with friends and a way of making new ones.
Cool and Amazing Facebook Quotes
Millions of people are on Facebook and use it to socialize with their friends. It’s a great place to check in on what new and hot in your community and see what people are thinking about and interested in.
Super Funny Quotes for Facebook
Humor is always a great way to go. Find a way to give your friends some laughs with the best joke you can find. Here are some of the funniest quotes for Facebook that you can use. Read, copy, paste, and enjoy!
- Never interrupt your opponent while she’s making a mistake.
- Lucky for you, mirrors can’t laugh out loud.
- Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn’t attend.
- You can’t be late until you show up.
- Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
- Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren’t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
- War doesn’t determine who’s right—it determines who’s left.
- If something’s not going right, try left.
- Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
- If you think things can’t get worse, it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
- About to dance my feet silly!
- It’s amazing the things I can remember when I don’t need to remember anything.
- Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
- Smile while you still have teeth.
- Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time-consuming.
- Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
- I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.
- What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to “like” cream cheese on Facebook?
- Books have the knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn’t pay. So if you keep reading, you’ll go broke.
- I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
- I’m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn’t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
- Wife: I’m pregnant, what do you want it to be? Husband: A joke.
- Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
- It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
- Everyone is normal until you add them as your Facebook friend.
- I never thought I’d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning … I was right!
- Every rule has an exception, especially this one.
- Relationship Status: COMING SOON
- Once again I’ve woken up without superpowers. Sigh
- History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- You can’t be late until you show up.
- Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms.
- Don’t let your mind wander—it’s too little to be let out alone.
- A big shout-out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money!
- People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don’t want to talk.
- I’d call you a tool, but even they serve a purpose.
- Sometimes I prefer to use my face as emoticons.
- The best way to change a woman’s mind is to agree with her.
- Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
- Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and if that doesn’t work out for you, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
- To err is human. To arr is a pirate.
- Keep calm and know Google can help you find a way to fix almost every problem. If not it will tell you who can fix it.
- The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
- I wouldn’t say you’re stupid. You are, but I wouldn’t say it.
- It hurts when you go to unfriend someone, and you find they’ve beaten you to it!
- By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn’t believe me.
- If at first, you don’t succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried.
- May your life someday be as good as you make it out to be on Facebook.
- Someday I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
- If at first, you don’t succeed, redefine success.
- LIKE if you hate it when someone tags you in a photo, you look horrible because they happen to look so good in it.
- People who say “I hate to bother you” need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
- If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
- Phew! Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning.
- The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money.
- Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
- Looking at school books and thinking: what a waste of a tree!
- Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed was game requests?
- I have a busy day ahead: I have trouble to start, rumors to spread, and people to argue with.
- Nobody around here treats me like a glamour model, so I’m just going to sit here taking selfies by myself.
- Waking up every day seems a little excessive.
- I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.
- Why didn’t you reply to my text? Well, how am I supposed to reply to LOL?
- People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they’re likely to cause.
- I once stood in the back and said, “Everyone attack!” but it didn’t turn into a Ballroom Blitz.
- Line dancing was originally invented by women waiting in line for the bathroom.
- You know you’re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
- Learn from Pandora’s mistake—think outside the box.
- Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
- Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.
- Don’t look now, but I’m hiding under your bed.
- Nothing is illegal. Until you get caught.
- You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
- If a mute person burps, does it make a sound?
- Friends are like boobs: some are real, some are fake.
Cool Status for Facebook
Want to be cool? Sure! Everybody in their lives wants to at least once! We’ve got you covered. Below are cool statuses, pick one and share it.
- Work hard in silence, let your success be your noise.
- If people have a problem with you, always remember, it is THEIR problem.
- You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.
- When someone says: you are UGLY TELL them oh sorry I was trying to look like you.
- Confidence is not ‘they will like me’. Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.
- You will find a girl prettier than me, smarter than me, and funnier than me, but you will never find a girl just like me.
- What others think is not important. How you feel about yourself is all that matters.
- People who have High And Unnecessary attitude, deserves the Standing Ovation of my Tallest Finger.
- Arguing with a fool proves there are two.
- My BACK is not a VOICEMAIL, so better say it on my FACE.
- It’s okay if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
- Remember one thing, you might be a PLAYER. But I am the GAME.
- Come! Come to sit by me. It’s a nice bench. Nice and lovely on the butt.
- Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.
- I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
- Excuse me. I found something under my shoes oh it’s your Attitude.
- I’m authentically an alright kind of person, everything to me is good or bad… just all is well!
- The biggest slap to your enemies is your success.
- Nothing is cooler and more attractive than a big comeback, and that’ll be me.
- Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.
- I don’t care for your melting knows, I am who I am. And you can’t stop me who I wanna be.
- Got a problem with me? Solve it. Thin I’m’ tripping? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit back down. Can’t face me? Turn around.
- How often do you try to put me down? I wear my attitude like a crown. That’s why it’s cool.
- That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it.
- The only reason I am fat is that a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
- Your intelligence is my common sense.
- Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with You.
Funny Facebook Quotes About Life
Well, life can be very philosophical can it not? We need a little humor in our lives, we need to look at it from different perspectives. Use humor to put a smile on your friends’ faces. Use the Facebook quotes below!
- My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.
- Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
- Wal-Mart: The only place on earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real-life what not to wear episode.
- There’s life without Facebook and the Internet? Really? Send me the link.
- Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook.
- If you meet my expectations, please ask them to come home.
- You don’t know anything? Google it. You don’t know someone? Facebook it. You don’t know where something is? MOM!
- Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be change … after 3 times it should be change default to UNSTABLE!
- America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
- A long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
- Good girls are found in every corner of the earth. But unfortunately, the earth is round.
- I like my men like I like my tea, hot and strong!
- I’m going to open a new Facebook account named ‘Anonymous’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!
- Where can I get one of those Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton jobs where they just kind of pay you to exist?
- The mind of a woman: If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Do you have Facebook? Yup. Do you have Whatsapp? Yup. Do you have love? Forgot to install it.
- The only thing that could stop me from taking selfies is a photo of what I look like taking selfies.
- I used to believe in freedom of speech until I had to pay my first phone bill.
- If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me!
- Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
- A single loyal friend is worth more than a house full of pesky relatives.
- I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
- In today’s world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account!
- There are two types of people in this world. The people who are in tune with reality and those who watch Love & Hip-hop.
- If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.
- Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download your problems, delete your smile.
- I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
- Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.
- When people call you photogenic, they’re actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics.
- I am still waiting for the day I’ll use MATHEMATICS integration in real life.
- Most of us don’t realize it, but we’re all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we’re all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.
- Why do single women take advice from other single women? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.
- Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear. Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.
- If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
- Babies are such amazing creations, they put up with all our nonsense and we keep believing that we are amazing parents.
Best Facebook Status Ever
- Don’t just post a status, post THE best status!
- Life stops when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing, love ends when you stop caring, friendship ends when you stop sharing.
- If I don’t ask you for help, or I’ve never asked you, be confident that one day I sure will. No man is an island as it is always said.
- Everybody wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.
- Life is amazing right now. Loving the people that are good to me, and ignoring the ones that don’t! it makes life much more peaceful.!
- I’m not popular, but I have good friends. I’m not rich, but I have what I need. I may not be liked, but I know I’m loved.
- Look into yourself and create an atmosphere where your dreams can thrive. You can do it. That why you are you.
- Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
- Love is the beginning of everything in life; it leads to unimaginable happiness.
- Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.
- Hate is a heavy word, before you use it on a person, try using ‘dislike’ it works.
- Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.
- A room without books is like a body without a soul.
- life is so confusing. what we want we don’t get, what we get we are not satisfied with, what we expect never happens & what we hate generally repeats
- A smile is actually an expensive commodity especially when it seems the heart is heavy. But when it’s become a habit, it can not be easily broken.
- When you say YES to others, make sure you are not saying NO to yourself.
- I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you, and I choose both.
- I’m not popular, but I have good friends. I’m not rich, but I have what I need. I may not be liked, but I know I’m loved.
- You can blame people all you want when things go wrong but the truth is everyone is the author of his own misfortune.
- I am in charge of how I feel and today I’m choosing happiness.
- Everything in life happens for a reason so live it, learn it, and love it. Use your smile to change the world, don’t let the world change your smile!
- Jealousy and hatred go hand in hand, they are one of a kind. When it eats into the soul it births toxins and spreads very fast.
- The happier you are the more beautiful you become.
- The heart is equal to a mirror, Mirror shows reflection, & the Heart shows affection. Both have one equal quality, can’t be reformed once broken.!
- It’s tough when someone special starts to ignore you, it’s even tougher to pretend that you don’t mind.
- Opinions are no longer opinions when you’ve shared them with others.
- Nothing is more beautiful than a smile that has struggled through tears.
- Dreams Don’t work unless you do.
- If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.
- Taking a step at decision-making is quite a task, many shy away because they are not ready to take responsibility for their actions and in-actions.
- Everyone is beautiful in their own way because God makes no mistakes.
- Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.
- Forgiveness is a great tool, only the strong wields it.
- Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.
- Never walk alone, develop multiple personalities
- A great heart and a beautiful soul in a friend’s body is worth more than gold.
- You never know how bad it hurts until it happens to you.
- To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.
- Sometimes you have to get up and command bad moods to stay away, those things are blind they don’t know when to visit or when not to, you are not.
- A mistake that makes you humble is much better than an achievement that makes you arrogant.
- Silence and smile are powerful tools, smile solves all your problems, silence keeps all your problems at bay.
- Ignorance is no longer bliss, it is a sure, steady, painful but slow death.
- Making mistakes is better than faking perfections.
- The world would be a better place if everyone minds their business and of course stay true.
- Successful people keep moving on. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. Your best teacher is your last mistake.
- Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.
- When life’s troubles and worries set in, just relax, close your eyes and open them back, then stare at the problems and say boldly with great convictions: it’s not me you will kill.
- You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.
- True friends are like stars- they shine best when your world is in darkness!
- A heart that appreciates is a healthy one.
- The hardest test in life is the patience to wait for the right moment.
- Protect her like a daughter, love her like a wife, and respect her like your mother.
- Take time out and enjoy the cool and refreshing breeze, it relaxes the soul.
- Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.
- Beauty is less important than quality.
- Everyone is an artist, we all have to paint our future and life ourselves.
- Be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people
- No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that crap and move on.
- Different people will come to our lives for different purposes, but then it’s our choice whether to allow them to make or mar us.
- Don’t treat people as bad as they are, treat them as good as you are.
- Don’t expect anything from the person, your not.
- Everyone is a genius we all know, what we don’t know is everyone has limited capacities and capabilities.
- Be a good person but don’t try to prove it.
- Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.
- The fear of the unknown is the greatest of fears. And this has eaten deep into what we would have been.
- Sometimes people are beautiful not in looks, just in the way there are.
- Every burden is a blessing.
- In the world today, everyone is wiser than the other, this is the root of our problem
Facebook Profile Picture Caption
Do you need to change your profile picture? Here are some of the best captions for your awesome photo.
- Proof that I can do selfies better than you.
- Style is a reflection of your attitude and personality.
- I’m not lazy, just chill.
- Your body listens to everything your mind says, stay positive!
- Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.
- Before you judge me, make sure you are perfect.
- I just leveled up.
- You don’t feel like a rock, work like a clock.
- I can. I will. Watch me.
- It is okay to be angry. It is never okay to be cruel.
- History is made by those who break the rules.
- If you want to come second, follow me.
- Smiling has always been easier than explaining why you are sad.
- Sunsets are proof that endings can often be beautiful too.
- If you like me then raise your hands. If not then raise your standards.
- Turn your face towards the sun, and the shadows fall behind you.
- Work hard and be good to people.
- Smiling has always been easier than explaining why you’re sad.
- Life is better when you’re laughing.
- No one is perfect that’s why pencils have erasers.
- Wake up and be great.
- I’m the reason I smile every day.
- My attitude will always be based on how you treat me.
- Stay a mystery, it’s better.
- I was born to stand out.
- Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.
- Life is better when you smile and laugh.
- We were born to be real not to be perfect.
- Even the simplest things can be beautiful.
- There is no competition because nobody can be me.
- Love me or hate me, I will still shine.
- In each moment, you are the only one who chooses your attitude.
- Life is either a great adventure or nothing.
- Sometimes you have to be your own hero.
- Ideas are useless unless they are used
- Whatever you do in life, make sure it makes you happy.
- Great minds think differently.
- No man is a failure who is enjoying life.
- There is always a wild side on an innocent face.
- Follow your hopes and not your fears.
- Surround yourself with people who encourage you.
- If you get tired learn to rest not to quit.
- When you burn inside but you have to keep smiling.
- Live now. Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again.
- When life becomes blurred, adjust your focus.
- Live the life you’ve imagined!
- Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance.
- When your heart is happy, your mind is free.
- Simplicity is the essence of happiness
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